When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
