Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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