she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
