im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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