what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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