Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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