Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
