singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
