Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
