do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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