She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
