we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
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