Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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