I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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