Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
