it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
