have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
