She's JV to your varsity
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize