That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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