I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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