I just made out with a guy for $7.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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