That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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