Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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