the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
