He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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