nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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