we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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