yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
