"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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