So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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