Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
