Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
