I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
