i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
