Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips

(515): View more from Iowa

there is no god

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(612): View more from Minnesota

a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.

Fav 40 4026 1078
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(772): View more from Florida

I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"

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(605): View more from South Dakota

We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.

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(937): View more from Ohio

think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.

Fav 3 577 994
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(317): View more from Indiana

My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway

Fav 11 823 1044
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(208): View more from Idaho

There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.

Fav 3 487 631
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.

Fav 2 54 16
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.

Fav 0 11 41
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