ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
