Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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