Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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