what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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