I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize