They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
