I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Your penis caused this!
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