Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
