hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
