i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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