Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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