I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
