Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i barfeds in our rink
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize