I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
