I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
