it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
