So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
