whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
