If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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