Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
In America we eat man semen.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
