remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
