When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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