i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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