Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize