I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Semen is not good for contacts.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
